‘Coke Check’: Secret Service struggles to find culprit behind drug left near West Wing entrance

by Will Tubbs

Willie R. Tubbs, FISM News


Americans who want to know the identity of the person or persons who smuggled cocaine into the White House are likely to be left wanting. 

According to a new report from Politico, one insider believes that not even the advanced surveillance equipment at one of the most secure locations on the planet will prove strong enough to discover who made the White House just a little whiter by introducing a bag of cocaine to a cubby hole in a public area. 

“Even if there were surveillance cameras, unless you were waving it around, it may not have been caught,” the official, who Politico listed as having knowledge of the investigation, told the news outlet. “It’s a bit of a thoroughfare. People walk by there all the time.”

The area where the cocaine was found is a basement entryway that leads into the West Wing. It is an area for which many people, employees and visitors alike, have clearance. 

A Secret Service member found the illegal substance on Sunday, when the Biden family was away from Washington, D.C. 

Being in absentia has done little to help President Joe Biden, his administration, or his family. Conservative politicians and pundits in unison told some version of a Hunter Biden joke. 

Given the presidential son’s well-documented and oft-lampooned struggles with drugs, conservatives wasted little time in theorizing that the cocaine belonged to Hunter. 

“This is like if the Hamburglar lived at the White House and all the hamburgers got stolen and the Secret Service was like we just don’t have any leads, not sure what happened to all those hamburgers,” Noah Pollack, a political consultant and contributor to the Washington Free Beacon, tweeted. 

Despite the myriad jokes at the younger Biden’s expense – satire site the Babylon Bee has crafted three fake articles on the topic – the likelihood is that the cocaine had no connection to the Biden family. 

However, that won’t get the Biden administration or Secret Service off the hook. Conservatives in the House want to know how the drugs made it into the secure area, a question they can easily justify on the grounds that any weakness in the Secret Service’s defenses could be exploited by a nefarious actor. 

Not that accusations of a White House run amok were off the table.

“Oversight Republicans are going to ask [the] Secret Service about cocaine found in the [White House],” Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) tweeted at White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “I’d also like to know if [the White House] staff and admin, as well as Hunter Biden, can all pass a drug test. And what list of meds or drugs is Joe taking?”

The president has been mostly unavailable to the press and has spoken only through his press agents. 

“As you know, the President and the First Lady and their family were not here this weekend,” Jean-Pierre said during a Wednesday press briefing

She reiterated that the cocaine was found in a heavily trafficked area of the White House. 

“It is under investigation by the Secret Service,” Jean-Pierre said. “This is in their purview, and so we’re going to … allow … the investigation to continue. And we have confidence that the Secret Service will get to the bottom of this.”

Thursday, Deputy Press Secretary Andrew Bates told media representatives the administration’s stance had not changed. 

“I respect there is interest in this,” Bates said. “To be transparent with you, I do not have additional information to provide beyond what Karine laid out in the briefing room [Wednesday], which is: This is something we take seriously. The law enforcement professionals in the Secret Service are investigating after this substance was discovered in a highly traveled area.  We’re willing to assist in any way needed.  Beyond that, I’m going to respect their process.”

Although Republicans have taken advantage of the opportunity to chide the Biden administration over being the first to suffer through a public black eye of this nature, there is a growing sense that the drug find is a small matter, or at least not a primary concern given the nation’s other challenges. 

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) went so far as to criticize the conservative media for giving too much attention to the cocaine issue at the expense of covering the far more expansive fentanyl crisis. 

“I wish the right-wing media would cover the Fentanyl coming across the border and ruining our cities with the same fervor as they’re covering the cocaine found in the White House,” Boebert tweeted. “Yes, it’s a disgrace that they’re snorting lines in the White House, but the Fentanyl being trafficked across our border enabled by the White House is killing hundreds of thousands!”